How To Have A True Traditional Catholic Marriage

The only religion in the world that protects the indissolubility of marriage is the Catholic Church.  In other words, She does not believe in or allow divorce.  But, ever since the sexual revolution of the 60’s, the sewer of the world has steadily flowed into the Catholic Church too.  There are strong currents pushing for the Catholic Church to buckle under and accept the prevailing ideologies of divorce, birth control, living together and homosexual lifestyles.  This is culminating right now with Pope Francis calling the second Extraordinary Synod of Bishops on the Family in October this year.

Synod of Bishops on the Family
Synod of Bishops on the Family

Besides being very concerned about the attack on marriage in the Catholic Church, we should be coming up with constructive ways to help have happy marriages that are temptated to break up and end in divorce.  Even satanist, atheists, protestants and modernist Catholics want a happy marriage.  The reality is that not even these people enjoy the divorce process.  So we need to give them a better prerogative than marriages that are bound to fail, or maybe survive in unhappiness.  blogger-image-1868427368

So, what exactly will contribute to a happy permanent marriage?

  1. Sexual purity beginning in childhood.  All efforts should be made by parents and grandparents to protect children from loosing their innocence and to teach them the great value of being a virgin till marriage.  Young men must be taught by their dads about the danger of falling into lust, masturbation and pornography.  Young women need to be instructed by their mothers how to respect their bodies and purity.
  2. When these young men and women are 18 years old and feel the call to marriage and to be parents, they should have girl friends, boy friends as friends, not lovers.  Then, when the men are mature and able to support a family and the women able to take on the great sacrifice of raising a family, they can family date.  That is where they go to each others houses and socialize in the real family setting, not a superficial relationship away from the family.  This is where they find out the true character of the person they are interested in pursuing a future marriage with.
  3. Any possible future spouse has to come from a holy Catholic family.  How is his/her dad and mom behave, work, speak and pray?  Do they have a happy marriage?  Most children that come from healthy married parents are also successful in a life long marriage.
  4. Does the future spouse pray, go to Latin Mass, read the Bible and love God?  Can you really see this in the way they pray, live, dress, speak and act?  What are their morals?  Without God in the soul of the future spouse, the marriage will never last.
  5. What weaknesses and strengths are in the future spouse?  Do they party, smoke, drink to an excess, use drugs?  Are they hard workers, mature, disciplined and responsible? Have they done well in their studies?  Are they honest and transparent?
  6. Are they responsible with money?  Do they spend a lot?  Are material things important to them?  Do they have debt?
  7. Do they have the same life dreams and expectations as you do?
  8. Is she willing to sacrifice to stay home to cook, (does she even know how to cook), clean and take care of the children?
  9. Is he able and willing to work hard to support a family?
  10. How do they believe in raising children when it comes to homeschooling, discipline and dress?
  11. Does he know how to be a holy head of the family as Jesus is head of the Church who laid down His life for them as a servant?  Is he going to abuse his power and strength to hurt his wife?
  12. Does she know how to be subjected to her future husband as we are to Christ?
  13. The courtship time should be long and there must never be any physical touching because this can lead to the sexual sins.  All impure activity destroys love and causes guilt that gets carried into the life long marriage.  As much as you may justify sins of impurity before marriage, your conscience does not agree with you.  God put the conscience in us for truth and it can not be fooled.  The future spouse may have pleasure, but the price of it is bad feelings of guilt, deep inside, that stay with the marriage for good.
  14. Love, admiration and respect are very important to have in the courtship.  Love is not sexual attraction and it does not have to be strong.  Love grows over the years when there is admiration and respect for the person you would like to marry.  The sentiments of love come and go.  Commitment last all the life long.
  15. Once married, then the virgin couple explore the beauty and sacredness of sex.  They understand that sex is to have children.  So they never use birth control and accept all the children God wishes to give them.  Many children make a marriage work.  God never intended a marriage to work with just two people and a few children.  Each child God sends has a unique part to play in the happiness of the family’s future.  Birth control destroys marriages too.
  16. Once married, prayer and the sacramental life is the center of this families lives.  It can never be neglected.enewsl234

These are just a few suggestions to help people create a happy future marriage that will last ’till death do us part’.  Many people think they will change the spouse once they get married.  What an illusion.  The only person we can change is our own very selves.  Remember, the seeds of divorce were planted way before the couple even got married.

We are so blessed to be traditional Catholics and to have a very good chance of being happy in our marriage and family.

Traditional Catholic Homeschooling

My mother had her teachers credentials from Illinois, but only taught philosophy for a short time at Toronto University before she married my dad.  She also was trained in the Montessori school paradigm.  She strongly believed that each child learns differently and at a different pace.  She also did not believe children were to start studying till they were in 1st. Grade and that they would catch up very quickly when they are older.

IMG_4862A few of the 17 Children, 2 more were adopted after I moved out.  

Once she married my dad, she stayed at home and homeschooled us through grammar school, way before it was allowed or popular.  In order to not get in trouble in those days with the school district, since we were not in school, my mother would advertise as a private school and have other children come and study with us.  No one ever studied with us.  I then went to Catholic high school for 3 years and finished at the public high school.  From there I studied 2 years at Cabrillo College and graduated from Carleton University in Ottawa Ontario Canada.

Since there were 17 of us children to start with, and my dad was working, my mother had to organize all the studying, (and most of the time it was very disorganized).  We also traveled a great deal, (twice lived in Mexico building schools for the poor and another time in Fowler building a Catholic Church), so it helped that we were homeschooled.  Nevertheless, the routine was pretty much always being disrupted, as many on you who are homeschooling now see happen all the time.  Life is just one big succession of interruptions.  

We older children helped the younger children do their reading and math.  I remember a lot of homemade flash cards with math and vocabulary on them.  I also remember that I learned mostly on my own working in the workbooks.  So what I am getting at is that children survive fine in chaotic homeschooling environments because they are basically smart.  But that is if you will not allow them to waste their time on TV, Video games and computers.  They learn to play, but not to read, write or add.  We were never allowed this.Common-Core

Today, the morals, the immodest dressing, the homosexual agenda in and the common core curriculum in the public schools, makes Catholic homeschooling seem to be the only option, (other than a good Catholic school, which is very rare today).  But even there, many do not teach Catholic teachings and you also have the huge added expense of tuition.  1917 Canon law had that all parishes were to have parochial schools.

Many orthodox people do Charter School homeschooling because it is free, the books are free and they also get money for extra-curriculum activities.  There is also a limited amount of supervision by the charter school staff, so that the busy mothers do not have as much to do.  But the text books are from the public school and they will soon have common core as part of the education.  And in this system, there are no Catholic religion classes or Catholic material in the other areas of learning, like reading and history.

Many families avoid Catholic homeschooling because the programs and  books cost money and the parents have more of the responsibility to make sure their children are keeping up with the assigned school work.  But in these Catholic courses, there are religion classes, always going deeper and better with each grade.  They also have Catholic themes in all other subjects as well.  For this reason the Catholic homeschooling programs are the best option, as costly and difficult they may be.world

Many mothers are concerned about public schools and would like to homeschool their children, but are afraid to do it, because of all the responsibility and they feel that they are not educated or qualified enough to be able to teach their children.  Although they are rightfully concerned about the responsibility and their lack of knowledge, this should not stop them from homeschooling.  Many of their children are not learning to read or write or do math at their public schools right now anyway.  Many of the children in public schools are way behind.  Better save their souls than be able to teach them perfectly.

Finally what is of dire importance is to keep in contact with other homeschooling families.  Besides socializing at church, these children need to be able to make friends and not be too isolated.  What we started at St. Patrick’s in Escalon/Ripon, Calif. and is still working well, was a homeschooling cooperative.  All that meant was that during the school year, one day a week, the families would get together for some common classes, socializing, eating, outings and the Christmas program.   It is very loosely organized, has a year schedule and you do the best you can.

Another option, for those who can afford it, is to hire a helper who comes to your house and tutors your children in the subjects they are struggling with or that take more time.  And another thing that is working for my friend homeschoolers is to go to a teacher’s house, pay a small tuition, and she teaches all the children at once the common courses they all need.

7S43_All_Souls_School1I want to really encourage everyone to homeschool.  Yes, it is a big sacrifice.  Yes, it takes a lot of work.   Yes, it cost money.  But it is worthwhile.  Your children do not need to be super stars.  But they do need to get to heaven.  It is much more likely that they will have fewer exposure to sinful ideas at home.  Here is a simple link that tells you everything you need to know about Catholic homeschooling.  Catholic homeschooling resources.com

Here are a few of the most popular Catholic homeschooling vendors;

 

It may be extremely difficult, but we are so blessed to be traditional Catholics and to be able to form children into great christian people of the future world and Church.

Traditional Catholic Wife And Mother 6

The great vocation of a Catholic Wife and Mother taken principally from the writings of St. Peter Julian Eymard, (Eucharistic Handbook).Mary, Mother of God (3)

Women, the Bulwark of Civilization. – In the 1600’s, Our Lady of Good Success foretold to Ven. Mother Marianna of Jesus that the 20th century would see a loss of faith, morals and good customs. Today we see her prophecies have come true. What remains of Christian Western Civilization is being attacked on every side and systematically destroyed.

Christian mothers must remember, therefore, that in every society, it has always been the faithful women who uphold the standards for good manners, customs and morals. These are values which mothers, more than any other, hand-on to their children; these are values women are able to elicit from men and society—simply by conducting themselves in a respectful and modest manner which demands reciprocation. Thus, the recovery of Christian civilization, so desperately needed today, will begin and be sustained by the Christian woman and mother, the heart of every family and home and country.

fatima4AT FATIMA, the angel depicted in the vision part of Third Secret repeated the request of Our Lady of Lourdes: Penance! Penance! Penance! With this penance performed, the heavenly Queen is depicted in the same vision as putting out the flames of God’s wrath coming upon the world! If we do our penance according to our duties of state, we will surely be aided by God’s grace in all our endeavors and receive the protection of the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts against all dangers as well as help Our Lady in fulfilling the Fatima promises… In the end, My Immaculate Heart with triumph.” 

How happy such a good wife and mother will be when she goes before God’s judgment seat and is able to say: Those whom Thou hast given me I have guarded(John 17:12).

Traditional Catholic Wife And Mother 6

The great vocation of a Catholic Wife and Mother taken principally from the writings of St. Peter Julian Eymard, (Eucharistic Handbook).BlessedVirginMary 2

Politeness. – These duties consist especially in receiving visits and in returning them. She should lend herself readily to them when duty or charity requires it. On such occasions, she should be known for her respect of the truth and love of charity, her motivation being the edification of her neighbors.  But in the interests of her religious duties and of those of her state, she should avoid as much as possible useless and idle visits, which dissipate the soul, weaken piety, and not seldom offend charity.

Business. – Prudence and simplicity should regulate the managing of her business. She should be prudent in the choice of means, calling into play all that God has given her in the way of intelligence, ability, and an honest industriousness to succeed in her work; that is the legitimate investment of one’s talents, spoken of in the Gospel. She should be simple in her business transactions, seeking only justice, acting only according to the truth, and trusting in God alone for success; a life that is based on faith need nothing further.

Carlow_Cathedral_St_Dominic_Receives_the_Rosary_from_the_Virgin_Mary_2009_09_03-640x367 As the praises of Solomon for the valiant woman in Proverbs indicates (cf. 31:10f.) a woman’s work in the home has immense economic value, although it is rarely remunerated monetarily or justly acknowledged. Nevertheless, none should ever belittle or degrade her work which is of vital importance for her family’s sustenance and economic viability. The virtuous woman will not lend an ear to worldly values and human respect, trusting that God Himself will repay her loving efforts a hundred-fold. Note too that society at large is better served when its citizens are raised at home by the loving care of a mother. Unless there is grave necessity, a mother ought not work outside the home.  A mother who places greater value on a professional career and earning income over the duties of her family and home places her own soul and that those of her family in grave danger.

Social proprieties. – The faithful wife and mother is occasionally obliged to take part in worldly festivities; her position, her family obligations, the demands of friendship make it a duty for her to do so. On such occasions, which are distasteful to her piety, the virtues of modesty, charity, and humility will be her rule of conduct and her safeguard. BlessedVirginMary

Modesty. – Modesty should be her chief finery, her Christian protest against the vanities of the world, and her powerful defense against its dangers. The Catechism teaches: “Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden… Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet… Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressure of prevailing ideologies.”

Pope Pius XII once said: “There is nothing wrong in being fashionable. But, fashion can never be the supreme rule of conduct. There is a limit beyond which fashion can bring about the ruin of a soul.” And in another place, he taught: “modesty foresees threatening danger, forbids us to expose ourselves to risks, demands the avoidance of those occasions which the imprudent do not shun. It does not like impure or loose talk, it shrinks from the slightest immodesty, it carefully avoids suspect familiarity with persons of the other sex, since it brings the soul to show due reverence to the body, as being a member of Christ and the temple of the Holy Ghost. He who possesses the treasure of Christian modesty abominates every sin of impurity and instantly flees whenever he is tempted by its seductions” (Sacra Virginitas, no. 58).

Charity. – Wanting what is best for another, the Christian woman should be gentle in order not to embarrass anyone, obliging in everything that conscience allows and truth is not violated, devoted to the very limits of duty. Virgin Mary Annunciate_ANGELICO, Fra

Humility. – In the presence of human glory and ambition, the humility of the wife and mother should shine in all its simplicity. She should step into the background and forget self in order to busy herself only with others; she should accept in peaceful serenity the humiliations inflicted on her vanity and self-love, knowing how to find God in the midst of the joys and pleasures of the world as well as its sorrows.

When she is modest, charitable, and humble, she can take part in worldly festivities without fearing its dangers. She will have done her duty and left behind her the sweet odor of the Christ, in whom she lives and for whom she acts.

Traditional Catholic Wife And Mother 5

The great vocation of a Catholic Wife and Mother taken principally from the writings of St. Peter Julian Eymard, (Eucharistic Handbook).

Duties towards her neighbor. – The duties of the faithful wife and mother towards her neighbor fall into three classes: duties towards her relatives, duties towards her friends, and duties towards her social acquaintances.

Virgin Maria042-1Duties towards her relatives. – These duties are part of her Christian obligations. They are not always easy. Jealousy, self-interest, and the spirit of discord often make it difficult to keep the union of peace and charity. Thus, the faithful and duty-conscience woman should in all charity and prudence spend herself in furthering the bonds of love among her relatives, in reconciling minds at variance, in smoothing over hurt feelings without compromising the truth. She will always be successful in her mediation if she seeks only the glory of God and the spiritual good of her neighbors by setting aside her own interests and self-love. She will always be a bond of union if she is ever charitable in her words towards all, full of consideration and deference for their rights, and seeks rather to serve than to be served, to be ignored than to shine. This duty is often particularly challenging with in-laws, yet she may view this as a means afforded to her by Divine Providence for greater merit and growth in sanctity.

Our-LadyDuties towards her friends. – From a motive of divine charity, the wife and mother should not, as a rule, seek to have friends outside her relatives since her principle sphere of activity has already been defined by the family. If however, in that respect, she happens to be isolated, and God has given her friends with the same spiritual ambitions, let her love those friends as a sisters and count on them for strength and help. But she should not forget that detachment is the salt of friendship. This reserve or detachment makes the Christian woman always pure in her affections, always prudent in her confidences, always noble in her sentiments, always modest in her manner of living. She should, therefore, be discreet concerning her sorrows and difficulties at home. One imprudent word is enough to destroy union in the family, to irritate wounds only half closed and ignite the flames of discord. She should be reserved in revealing the defects of her own; honor and charity make this a duty, and prudence makes it a rule of conduct. A friend may not always be discreet.

If she is a mother, she should be judicious in the choice of her children’s friends. Friendship is the source of both good and evil among young people.eyck_ghent_virgin_close

Lastly she should be reserved in the pouring out of her heart, especially in moments of sorrow and sadness. It is difficult to find a friend who, in such circumstances, can truly console and strengthen in God a distressed soul. Happy the soul that is satisfied with God and finds everything in God.

Duties towards social acquaintances. – Due to the obligations of her state of life, the wife and mother is often required to have dealings with the world. These duties fall into three classes: those arising from politeness or good manners, from business, and from social proprieties.