Please Keep Praying For Me And All Who Suffer

Because I am a public figure, I need to let you know how I am doing.  It is very humiliating share this, especially when I have been very strong.  I am not having so much temptation of the flesh from my body, but while fighting so hard against these for this last month, all this time has totally shot my nerves.  So I am living with great anxiety most of the time.  I am taking a sleeping pill to sleep and 50 mg of Sertraline everyday.  I find no relief from medicine, but they say that it takes up to 2 weeks to feel anything and I have only taken it five times. IMG_8954

I have never used these medicines in my life.  I never believed in them.  But when you get desperate, you need to get temporary help.  I had to stop the Xanax because it caused a terrible heat reaction in my body.  It never helped that much either except I would sleep with it instead of a sleeping pill.

I think it is good for me to share my struggle so that you can pray for a sinner priest and we can support each other in our difficult times.  There is much suffering in the world.  I know I am so blessed to have a house, hundreds of friends praying for me, (including many priests and nuns) and money to pay my bills.

It is a very difficult time for my faith because I wonder why God is not healing me and helping me to do my work of which I love so much.  I have done all my priestly duties, but will probably take a break.  At times I feel I will pass out at the latin Mass.  In spite of how I feel, I believe nonetheless.  What do we have besides God, Mary, the saints and angels.
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This experience makes me even more dedicated to helping people stay out of hell.  This is horrible, but there are no flames, devils, continuous darkness, screams, worms, and remorse over and over again.  I also want to have way greater compassion of everyone who is suffering.  The people here at St. Catherine have been so loving an supportive to me.
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 Thank you everyone for your love and prayers.

Let us pray for each as we struggle with out fallen nature in this vale of tears.  May we love and support each other as we try to be faithful traditional Catholics.

21 Replies to “Please Keep Praying For Me And All Who Suffer”

  1. Father I am a recovering drug addict,I have had 5 major back operations (fusion,screws,5 cages in my spine)I got addicted to pain Meds an Xanax please don’t take that drug,that was the hardest thing I had to do in my life was to quit drugs I have been to rehab 4 times the last one in 2004 it worked an I have been drug free since 2004,but I lost everything but my Catholic Faith an my Job,Father that was like going straight to Hell am I did see the demons an the smoke it was horrible,but I think God everyday I went through that because I really really appreciate all that I have,God puts us through things I never thought I would ever go through in my life after 10yrs my kids are finally starting to talk to me,I have 3 kids an two Beautiful granddaughter who I love more than life,I know what I have now an I Love God so much my heart almost explodes,one day Father you will know why God done this to you,He done it to make you stronger in please don’t quit saying the Holy Rosary an Mother Mary will help you because you are one of Her Catholic Priests keep your Faith an don’t lose it keep praying,I will pray for you an you Please Father pray for me.

  2. Take B-6. And: 1. look carefully at your surroundings, noting every little thing – enjoy. 2. Listen: what do you hear. Listen for every little sound. 3. Feel: notice your external and internal physical sensations, sun, breeze, clothing, muscles. 4. Smell: What do you smell and what does it remind you of? 5. Taste: notice the residual flavors you have in your mouth from your food and drink. Rejoice in all of this present moment gift of reality.

  3. I don’t think it is clear to most of us how difficult it is to work with ‘the public’ now, as Father does, and as do nurses and teachers and others. Our people are just destroyed. They have no patience, no forbearance, no sense of honesty, caught in a lie they shrug (and that’s only the politicians!). When I was in the hospital I saw several instances of patients abusing the staff. Faced with a procedure (yes, sometimes painful) they would curse horribly, and fight. They had no sense of penance. I mean despicable curses that would leave the nurse visibly shaken.

    Father sees even worse. He has to look inside, in confession. I can’t even read authors who I know had certain issues, but Father HAS to go inside. He has to potentially confront murder, addiction, cannibalism! He has to confront us where we are, nasty sinners. He has to be the voice of reason for us who wallow in chaos, confusion, darkness. It’s exhausting surely. Only the greatest love would do it.

    If I get to heaven, and if I am looking for Father, I know I’ll be looking up. He’ll be very close to Our Lord, and he’ll be so happy.

  4. You Father…. are being allowed to carry a heavy cross. It is, by design. As others state here- stay away from the drugs! They are… Satan’s ‘inroad’ to your Soul. You must realize, that the MORE you do God’s will.. The MORE you try to attain Grace- the MORE you will be attacked! I would ask you to ask Our Blessed Mother- to give a little sigh for you to her Son Jesus’…. For He will not refuse her anything as she is so very perfect. Continuously offer up all of your suffering to Jesus, through Mary. You may not believe this, but I am perhaps THE worst sinner! Far worse than St. Augustine! Why? Because I have blasphemed even Mary- Queen of Heaven & Earth! And yet? Because my late Mother ‘consecrated’ her children’s Souls- to Jesus THROUGH her, she has asked her Son to spare me- NINE times now.. Yes, NINE times that I should have died. And do I change?? No. She will not give up on me Father… AND she WILL NOT GIVE UP ON YOU. Even now, she uses me- to speak to you. I have Father… come to the realization that I am meant to wallow as I do- in utter sin. Why? Because I realize that in the Garden of Gethsemane that Jesus SAW me… saw YOU…He saw every Soul throughout their lives with utter horror & disgust! And STILL he gave his suffering & life… for such a wretch as I?? Our Lady uses me- in her own fashion, throughout my pitiful life, as a ‘tool’ of sorts to do good now & then, when it is for the Glory of Her son, Jesus. I suffer, beyond compare Father…. She obtains my life for me… over & over that she may use that which is hers… Thus my late Mother’s consecration of my Soul. Remember, that in the Secret of the Rosary it states, “Even if a Soul is on the brink of Hell…she may pluck that Soul away from the evil one- with just a little sigh!” I somehow know Father, that she will uphold you- and me.

  5. Father, I believe it was Betty Davis who said “Old age ain’t for sissies.” Nor is becoming a saint.

    The medication you are taking becomes effective for most people in 2 to 4 weeks. Don’t be concerned, it takes a while. It is not a medication like, for example aspirin, which is fast acting and then quickly removed from the body. It needs time to build in your body. It is supporting a natural body chemistry that is on its own not doing what it should. Banish the thought that you are mentally weak or spiritually deficient. In the same way that you would feel no embarrassment about taking a cholesterol or blood pressure medication, feel no embarrassment about this. Do not listen to ignorance no matter how well intended. It is very common and many people suffer from it, and the cause is known. Have you every noticed a person who always stays in the back of the church, or always comes a bit late and leaves a bit early? That person may suffer from a panic disorder. As an aside, I don’t think Xanax was the correct medication for you. Time will tell if the new medication works well. I should note that your current medication should also help with oppressive thoughts in the form of temptations or repetitive thoughts. No, it will not completely rid you of them, but make the attacks more natural. I’m not sure I explained that well, but I don’t know how to write it any better.

    It is a blessing that you share your sufferings. You give others an opportunity to become more pleasing to God by their prays for you.

    I don’t think the question of why does God not heal me so that I can work in his service is the right approach. You well know that everything that happens to us is permitted by God. This didn’t slip by him. He knew what was happening. You cannot ask God to take away from you what he has given. He may have handed you your salvation. God will take this from you if he wants to, but it will be retained if he wants it to be. (Poor Job!) I am not at ease hearing you suggest that your work is being held back by this trial. Your work is serving God. Your job description is given to you from God. It appears that your job right now is to suffer well in the service of God and the salvation of souls. Padre Pio said it does not matter if you get there by an easy road or a rough road, as long as they both lead to heaven. We are told that those with faith who suffer are being given a great blessing from God. Which saint was it –I think St. Theresa of Avila– who while fording a fast stream on donkey, tumbled into the water and was washed down stream almost drowning. She exclaimed to God, if this is how you treat your friends, not wonder you have so few of them! We may not always love God’s ways, but we must always accept it.

    You suffer with the Crucified Christ for souls and in reparation for the many outrages against Holy Religion. Take that cross and run with it trusting in God to get you to the end in good shape.

    God bless you, and please pray for me.


  6. Father, I’m praying for you. Stay strong, we have been blessed by your teaching. We are blessed that through you are Lord Jesus Christ gives Himself to us through His Timeless Sacrifice, giving us His Body and Blood, for the forgiveness of our sins. May God bless you. In my heart I believe that we are being prepared for the times to come. I’m beginning to understand what Saint Paul felt when he said, “we rejoice in our suffering.” Romans 5:3. God truly does bring joy and peace from our sufferings. Through sharing with our Lord Jesus Christ, our portion of His Passion we are made new. Through the cross we learn how to love as Christ Loves. All glory, laud, and honor to our Redeemer King! Thank you Father for fighting the good fight, and seeking to help guide us to Heaven, through Christ our Lord.

  7. Oh Father, my heart goes out to you in your suffering. Your exhaustion is so apparent.

    You say, “It is a very difficult time for my faith because I wonder why God is not healing me and helping me to do my work of which I love so much.” Dear Father, you know in your soul the answer: Love. God loves you too much to leave you as you were. He is redirecting your heart towards Him and strengthening you for what He has planned for you in your future. It may not be the work you love, but it is His work. Take comfort in that. All He wants is your fiat – to embrace your suffering – that He may complete His work in you.
    Of course, you already know this. 🙂 I pray your suffering is both profitable and short-lived. Please continue to let us know how we can pray for you and support you in your ministry and vocation.

    1. Father, I will pray in earnest for you. You know God does not allow any harm to come to the souls who love and seek his will. All suffering he allows is for the benefit of your soul. I know you know this but it does not keep your soul from feeling abandoned. I do not presume to understand or know for sure, but it sounds similar to what I experienced in what my spiritual director assured me was part of a dark night. At the time I felt she must be wrong, and could not be comforted or assured. It felt like God had left me, and I was consumed with a desire to do His will, to save souls, I so desperately wanted to do whatever I could in my position, to help save them from loosing heaven. I felt such deep pain for them, and I began having temptations I believed I had conquered, I couldn’t focus my mind anymore, all my talents God gave me, he seemed to take away so that I was unable to do the good He had been helping me accomplish. I decided I must be doing something wrong, I must not be doing His will. I asked and asked for guidance and help from Him, but I felt like I only received silence. I never felt so much pain in my life. But it taught me how truly, truly I am nothing without Him. I can do no good, I cannot even function,but by His grace and support. Eventually God granted me a reprieve and pulled me close to Him again. Closer and more intimately than I thought possible. It is so hard, I know Father. I believe I have been in a similar place. I suffered so much, I wanted to rip out my hair, I cannot imagine anything worse. I will pray very very frequently for you. God will purify your soul with this time. My words are inadequate really to explain what I mean, but I will pray God enlightens you so that you know and understand, despite my inadequacy.

  8. I know you’ve received a lot of advice about what’s going on and I do not presume to give you any. I will simply state things known to me.
    I assume that the doctor who has prescribed the medications you’re taking has done a physical exam (and that it was normal) and has checked your bloodwork. Hopefully a CBC (complete blood count), a CMP (comprehensive metabolic panel), UA (urinalysis), thyroid function tests including ultraTSH, a PSA (prostate specific antigen), and a B12 level were performed among other possible tests. The axiom in medicine is that the mental (if you will allow me to designate it that) can never be assumed to be the cause of such symptoms as you’re having without first establishing (ruling out) that a physical basis is NOT the cause. Without the above tests (all of them) one has not ruled out a physical cause of the symptoms. Even with normal results a physical cause could still be the agent but is much less likely. A man should ensure that he has had all these tests and that all the results were normal. A mental, or emotional cause could then be considered although a spiritual cause may in fact be instigating, reinforcing, or producing the symptoms.
    Simple prayer (e.g., aspirations, simple conversations with our Lord) during these kinds of time is what most, if not all, Catholic spiritual masters through the centuries advise, beyond those prayers and readings required by you for your state of life. Multiple novenas, Rosaries, etc., can tax the nervous energy of the organism God gave us during periods like this and should be avoided (I am NOT saying one should not pray the Rosary). The psalms can be consoling to the mind and help to calm it as can The Consoling Thoughts Of St Francis De Sales found here:
    You are in our prayers. God continue to bless you in your suffering.

  9. Addendum:
    Another blood test a man should seriously consider (I’m sorry, I don’t know how old you are) if he is over 40-45 is a blood testosterone level.

  10. Caro Padre, coraggio! Abbiamo bisogno della Sua testimonianza! Non si lasci prendere dallo sconforto; pensi a tutte quelle persone che trovano incoraggiamento nelle Sue parole. Anche in Italia si prega per Lei. Uniti in Cristo Gesù.

  11. Father,
    Assuming a physical exam was ok and you were tested for allergies….
    Regular exercising increases endorphins, makes the body strong and helps sleep.
    You can pray the rosary or the breviary while exercising. In this way you are disciplining both body and soul.
    Eat smart when fasting. Avoid caffeine, sugar, white flour. You can mortify the body without making it weak. Make sure you are hydrated.
    Do not eat after 6pm, do not exercise within one hour of sleep, do not use the computer or any activity (other than prayer) that keeps your mind active before sleep.
    Careful of social media….too much blogging….disturbs humility….devil creeps in.

    Make sure if allergies

  12. Father, I suggest you go to a Health food Store and get a good B complex (100 Mg’s) of all the B’s to help with your nerves. Be careful of Xanax! My Mom will only take 1/2 of the pill when she feels she needs it. It’s best to seek natural sources! I hope you feel better soon!

  13. Dear Fr. Carota,

    I will remember you in my prayers, especially at the Altar of God. As I am sure that you know, offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is the most powerful thing that a Priest can do while on this earth, and it will give you much strength from God — the Masses that you offer, and the Masses that other Priests offer for you.

    I cannot help but think that good, holy Priests are being called to suffer now, more than ever before, because of the terrible crisis that is afflicting the Church at this time in her history. If redemptive suffering is for all faithful souls, then it takes on a special importance when it involves Priests. As we become victims with Our Lord, the one and only Divine Victim, God continues to purify His Church through our priestly sufferings.

    I pray for you and for all faithful Priests, Bishops, and Cardinals. Because of the heavy weight that we carry on our shoulders as ministers of Christ, we can sometimes feel overburdened — not unlike Our Lord Himself, who fell three times under the weight of the Cross.

    You will be in my Masses, my Breviary, my Rosaries, dear Father. I will ask God to grant you courage, patience, and strength. I know that He will.

    Universae viae Domini misericordia et veritas
    (All the ways of the LORD are mercy and truth).
    -Ps. 24:10 (Clementine Vulgate)

    God bless you, Father.

  14. Fr. Carota, I am praying for you as you carry this cross. From my own perspective, I have to say that I do not “suffer” well — I am a wimp when it comes to pain and suffering. It is hard, and as you said, humbling to admit we are weak and in need of help. But that’s why we all pray for each other. You have been in my prayers and will continue to be. May the Blessed Mother wrap her mantle around you and comfort you as you follow Her Son. May God bring peace to your soul and continue to hold you in His care. Jan S.

  15. father I once had sleepless nights what helped me was going to a “sobadora” I don’t know how you say it in English the lady told me that I had all my nerves knotted. After going 3 times my anxiety went away.

  16. Father, I’ve been taking sertraline for 6-7 months. It truly has been a godsend. However, it does take a few weeks to work its effects; some people have nasty side effects, too. Thankfully, sertraline was the first and only drug I had to try for effectiveness.

    But that’s all beside the point. I’ll be praying for you, Father. The Tempter loves to get us through our mind; when he can do that, it’s much harder to pin it down as an infernal attack. God watches over us.

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