Human Struggle

I just need to let you all know that I am going through anxiety attacks.  I think it is because I fought so hard against all the temptation of the flesh, get up when ever there was a problem in the night, not sleeping, that my nerves are shot.

Cross_Christ Carrying_TIZIANO VecellioI went to see physician’s assistant at Mayo Clinic who prescribed for me Alprazolam for anxiety and a sleeping pill to sleep.
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 I have never taken anything like this before and for the last two nights just took one pill of the Alprazolam and have slept 8 hours a night for the last two nights.  But in the day I am having real bad anxiety attacks and fatigue.

I am telling you all of this because I am not able to do much on my blog.
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 I am sorry.  Thank you for all your prayers and I am sure there are people suffering way more than I am.

I also get emotionally exhausted continuing to perform all my priestly functions, Latin Masses, confessions, funerals, blessings and classes.  That I have been so far able to do everything I have been doing these last 2 and 1/2 years here is really a miracle.  It actually helps to be busy, but at the same time I it take great energy to do these while feeling fatigue and nervousness.  It is very humbling to have to say these things when I have been so strong for so long.  But all that can be lost is pride and that is a good thing.

All this shows me how valuable a priest is.  How important to have a priest to be able to do all his duties.

So please keep me in your prayers.  Thank you for all your prayers and I pray for all of you in each one of my Masses.

30 Replies to “Human Struggle”

  1. I will pray for you, Father. I’m so sorry that you are having this stress, but I pray that it will bring you closer to Christ.

  2. Dear Father, you have been too busy, maybe? You will be in my prayers. I listened to a talk on John Cassian yesterday evening before retiring for the night wherein he discussed the very type of nocturnal struggle you have been enduring. We’re all together in the struggle, all of us, from every era, from every place, and from every walk of life. Of course we know the enemy attacks more fiercely those who are most effective in destroying his efforts. Spiritual warfare sure isn’t easy. Thank you you so much for your remembrance at Mass. There is so much more I could say, however, I need to end this but not without expressing my gratitude to you for being the traditional priest that you are. I wish you were here.

  3. My dear Father, I was just thinking about you and said many prayers at Vespers before the Blessed Sacrament. I was reminded of St. John Vianney’s battle with Satan and his scorched bed. Have you seen this movie?

    It is very old. I do not own a TV, but I love to watch movies on my laptop about saints that were made before Holy Mother Church entered into this trial. This movie and the Cure`of Ars life is a great consolation to me. Whenever I experience distress about how my loved ones are choosing to live their lives I turn to our Lady, St. Joseph, St. John the Baptist, St. Frances de Sales, St. Francis Xavier, etc., etc., etc., 🙂 I know you know all of this and more, but I wish to console you as you have consoled us.

    “Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything.”
    ― St. Teresa of Ávila
    love and prayers in Christ

  4. Dear Father Carota:
    I am sending you a relic of St. Plus V and St. Maria Goretti. I will have three Masses said for you ASAP and will continue to keep you in my daily prayers. I will start making extra sacrifices for you as well during my daily routine. St. Plus V wanted holy pure priests to lead his Holy League. I know you have a special devotion to him. You are a “General” in God’s Holy League right now and you are leading so many to a sanctified life – the Devil hates you for that. Keep some holy water and blessed candle next to your bed – use them often. Keep the relics of the saints close to you – ask for their intercession. Sacramentals are so powerful. Pray always and NEVER LOSE HEART!

  5. Father,

    Please know that my family is always praying for you. May God continue to give you strength physically and emotionally as you go on with your daily duties. We are parishioners of St. Catherine’s, and please let us know if you need anything to help you. God bless you Father Carota. We love you!

    From: Roger, Reina, Rhenea, Rielle and our baby (on the way)

  6. God bless you Father, and thank you for sharing such a personal crisis with us. I have similar bouts with anxiety, depression, and fatigue that became unbearable soon after becoming a traditional Catholic, adding 4 more children to my family and beginning homeschooling. I am on medication also that is currently working well after many failed prescriptions. I will definitely pray for you, please pray for me if you find an opportunity!

  7. Better u went on a retreat than resort to pills! Too many horror stories attached to them, prescripture, not prescription! spiritual life must not become chemicals and pills.

  8. Dear Father, My son and I pray for you and thank our Lord for you every day. You have the true heart of a priest. I am so sorry for your sufferings. Jesus is very close to you in this struggle. I suffer in a similar way because of abuse from others. When I lay awake in the middle of the night, I will pray extra for you.
    Little mama

  9. Take heart, Father. Your blogs lift up our hearts to God. Satan may be attacking you because he know you are a valiant warrior for Christ.

  10. My family & I are praying for your Fr. Peter. Your a wonderful priest & with Gods grace you will get through this.

  11. Father,
    Please be very careful about taking pills, slippery slope…

    I had 2 times extreme anxiety come to me at night and I knew it was not of this world. I cast the devil out in Jesus Name and incredible peace flooded me.

    Your weapon is your faith and your cross.

    I am praying for you, Father, I know you are in Mary’s Arms.

    1. Your faith is commendable, but Christ has different paths for each of us. Casting out devils my not be the plan Christ has for Father. It might very well be a purging to another lever of spirituality. It is difficult to impossible to maintain pride when in the dregs of a full-blown anxiety attack.

      I have a heart condition, and if you suggested that I not take my medications, I would think you had zeal, but not sound medical knowledge.

  12. My prayers and sincere sympathy always . Sancta Maria , ora pro nobis , nunc , et in hora mortis nostrae , Amen .

  13. Dear Fr. , what I meant of course was :- Sancta Maria ,Mater Dei , ora pro nobis peccatoribus , nunc , et in hora mortis nostrae Amen . My prayers always , Frank

  14. Father, If you can get copy of Claire Weekes book Hope and Help for Your Nerves it might be helpful. Don’t let the unfortunate title fool you, it is one of the best and most assessable book on the subject of anxiety.

    I suggest doing some research on Serotonin.

  15. I am sorry that you are going through anxiety attacks! I go to your blog every day and it gives me such peace. Thank you for all that you do and for being such a holy and traditional Catholic priest!!

  16. I have panic attacks also. You are in my prayers – I will especially ask that Our Blessed Mother keep you safe.

  17. Father, my prayers are with you. Don’t let your heart be troubled. Its not easy to be a priest who seeks to speak the truth with love. Our world is so full of distractions and illusions. It’s hard seeing so many that we love falling to them. We feel pain over the lack of faith that we see. I will definitely keep you in my prayers, and I will ask our Mother Mary to pray with me to our Lord to bring you comfort and strength. It is a great blessing knowing that our faith is the truth. Our Lord Jesus Christ has conquered this world of sin and death. He remains with His Church, and His Precense sustains us. The world may be falling apart, but those who have ears are blessed to hear our Savior speak through faithful priest like you. I’m thankful to you Father, and I hope to give glory to God, by accepting the grace filled words you have spoken, and allowing them to help me on to get to Heaven. I pray to see you in Heaven Father. God bless you abundantly. Godspeed.

  18. Dear Father, I know something of what you’re going through and have experienced similar attacks. Be aware of the fact that extreme fatigue can dull our senses and our ability to think clearly. The devil uses this weapon against me very often and, at times, with great success. This can lead to despair because we see ourselves falling and yet don’t have the energy or strength to control our reactions which may seem sinful but are actually beyond our control. Fear not Father and know that Our Blessed Lord is with you. He sees your struggle to do His will and it is that struggle with which He will assist you, as you continue to strive towards that same end. In my experience, no pill or doctor has been able to to help me with these things. I hope that you attain more positive results but for me, having carried this cross for so long, I can say that I’ve had the fortune of seeing God’s hand very clearly in my life because through me, God has accomplished things that have been literally impossible for someone in my condition. God will send you the help and tools that you need to go on, though it can be very difficult. Somehow, things will just come together despite your reduced capacity to work. By maintaining faith and abandoning all things to God, small miracles will occur. For me, I have encountered other people who have offered to carry me when I’m at the end of my rope and have offered to complete tasks for me. For a long time, my pride would prevent me from accepting help but I’ve learned to accept it with gratitude because it is sent by God. So let people help you Father and pray to Our Lord to send you help in whatever means he sees fit. I used to pray for relief and healing of these ailments but when that didn’t come, I eventually realized that this cross was sent to me to purify certain lacking virtues and to build up trust in God that I severely lacked (and still do much more than I should). Please pray for me Father and I will pray for you. You have been a light in the darkness for so many people. I am so thankful for your priesthood.

  19. Father, I am seeing this now for the first time after replying to today’s post on the matter of your anxiety.

    We have to admit our littleness and not try to do more than our nature can support…even our priests, who can easily be consumed and “devoured” by the demands of their vocation.

    Even Our Lord counseled His Apostles to slip away to a desert place where they could recover from the crowds which assailed them constantly.

    For anxiety, the first remedy is to remove every obstacle to the immersion and stillness in God by which He might illumine you as to its cause…..To surrender, abandon and plunge into God that He may possess your powers and still all that is not at rest.

    Secondly, if you are pushing your nervous system to the breaking point by overwork when you have insufficient sleep, you will harm yourself and then require a longer recovery.

    One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn and accept in the spiritual life was my human fragility. We can push ourselves to the point of damaging our health and no longer feel the strength for the spiritual combat of the day to day.

    I had to look at nature and see the natural rythym wherein God ordained that His creatures should rest – look at the mighty lion! He sleeps most of the day!

    I am not suggesting that, but it takes swallowing our self love to see we need to pace ourselves and that we are fragile.

    Saint Therese loved her littleness and said it pleases God that we accept it.

    Lastly, find ways to heal the body. Drugs just damage it more.

    You will be in our prayers, Father! Thank you for your immolation! But be careful; we need you!

  20. I will be praying for you Father and for the intercession of St. Padre Pio. Your struggle with the sins of the flesh also reminds me of St. John of the Cross who often fought that temptation and many other attacks from the devil. He went so far as to burn his hand on a candle so he would no longer feel lust but would feel the physical pain of the burn. It is not surprising that the evil one is attacking you more than ever right now because the work you are doing is so important in these times. I pray that it brings you some comfort to know that reading your blog has helped me change many things in my life because you help me remember the importance of traditional Catholicism and the reality of sin and hell. Our world is so lost right now, however, we must trust that in the end Our Lord will triumphant and Our Blessed Mother will trample the head of the serpant. May God bless you always and give you the strength, courage and wisdom to continue to do His Will.

  21. Dear Father Carota: Firstly, we all love you. We thank you for your everything, above all your priesthood and your trust in sharing your suffering with all of us. We offer continuous prayers, fasting and personal suffering for your most holy protection and consolation. I can only imagine the great fruits that will result from this period of carrying the Cross.

  22. Dear Father, one other thought occurs to me. For several YEARS I was clearly being goaded by the devil. It was very troubling and very discouraging.

    Then I went on a Traditional retreat and at the end visited their little store where they had religious articles and Sacramentals.

    There I found a small wooden Crucifix with the Saint Benedict’s Medal in the center; you have probably seen them.

    I asked the priest to bless it with the power of exorcism, which can be done with the Saint Benedict’s medal. I have only seen Traditional priests willing to do this. Others simply give a blessing, not the power of exorcism.

    I then put the crucifix on.


    If you are not wearing such a Crucifix, perhaps that would help?

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