With the Extraordinary Synod On The Family planned for October 2015, we who respect God’s commandments, need to shout out clearly that Marriage vows are sacred and that the part these vows that says “Till Death Do Us Part” means what it says.
If the pope, cardinals, bishops and other powerful people in the Catholic Church cannot respect God’s law, then let us keep the suffering silent victims, the children from divorce families in their awareness. Here are two examples of suffering children have from divorce and adultery that I experienced just in the last few days.
My friend and her granddaughters were here at a parish dinner. The 12 year old had on short leggings and the other 9 year old had tight pants. I hesitated to talk with them about modesty because I had never met them before. But since the grandmother is part of the parish, I approached them with kindness. I told the 12 year old, with much kindness, that tights cause men to want to have sex with her and I knew that is not what she wanted. As you can imagine, it still did not go over that well. But we then begin to have a good talk.
The grandmother told me she has little influence with them because they live with her son’s ex-wife. So I asked what happened. The girls began to tell me how their dad “remarried”, had a child and moved to Texas 3 years ago to be with the “new wife’s” family. The girls told me how much they miss being with their dad.
Agreeing with their sadness, the 9 year old told me that she is full of sorrow inside and has no one to tell about it. She then began to cry. The older girl did not cry, but showed great pain too in her face when we were talking about their parents divorce and father moving away.
I told them that they need to come close to God and Our Lady to find someone with whom they can pour out their interior pain and that that is what God and Mary are here for, to help us when we have no one to turn to in our secret pains.
But I also told them that it makes me mad that they are suffering so much in silence because of the sin of their parents (divorce). I reminded them that breaking God’s rules causes suffering for everyone.
Right now there a millions and millions of silent children victims of parents who;
- only lived together, fought and separated and now share custody over the children,
- did get married, fought, divorced and now share custody and have to move from house to house every week.
- had casual sex, the woman got pregnant and the child never has a dad in his life,
- committed adultery and then went back to their spouse and left the child.
I went to bless a house and the wife told me all about the times her husband has been unfaithful to her. She talked outside so that her girls would not know that her husband is being unfaithful again and be traumatized again as had happened the first time. One of her daughters had to go through counseling to get over her dad’s unfaithfulness. The oldest son is in jail for marijuana too.
How can you protect children from emotional abuse caused by separation, divorce and infidelity of their parents?
- Only date a holy man or woman that is capable of living up to the wedding vows.
- Stay virgins until you are married in the Catholic Church “till death do us part”.
- Husbands be holy, loving, communicating, providing and faithful.
- Wives be holy, loving, communicating, disciplined and faithful.
- Remind yourselves sex and marriage is only for having children, a remedy for sexual concupiscence, and to help each other get to heaven.
- Do everything possible to live a holy married life by assisting at Holy Mass, frequent confession, prayer, reading the Holy Bible, retreats and good advice.
As compassionate Catholics we want justice for these silent children victims of adults who broke their wedding vows or never had the decency to make them before having sex.
Their is also an extremely high percent of sexual abuse of step daughters by stepdads because:
- They are already sinning by living in an adultery relationship,
- They are sexually attracted to the young women who is not their own daughter,
- The mother ignores what is happening because she also is sinning in adultery and is “in love” with this man.
Please write to the pope, your bishop and priests telling them of your personal experiences of pain that you are going through or went through from;
- being sexually abused by your stepdad,
- the trauma of your parents separation and divorce,
- having to see your parents have different sexual partners in your house,
- and having to know about your parent’s adultery.
Make your letter short and factual. They need to be reminded that there is more to compassion then to give the Sacred Body and Blood of Jesus to people living in sinful adultery relationships.
We are so blessed to be traditional Catholics and to know what marriage is all about.
The original author of this blog passed away in July of 2016. RIP Father Carota.